beneath the matt

I’m supposed to go now. I should be at the gate at the end of the endless park, the one coated in autumn leaves that do not crunch beneath your feet, the one where cherrywood trees stand alone in the mist. You cannot see the top of them because that is where the clouds begin, at eye-level, an everlasting fog that engulfs you.

I walk/run down the gravel path in the middle of the park – the grass is wet yet the snell of mildew is absent. I am sure there were leaves covering the ground a minute ago – or was that yesterday? I am nearly upon the gate – I have been running for a lifetime, but the gate is still the same distance away from me as when I first got here. 

Before I was here, I was somewhere else. I was in the school. I was restocking the shelves and admiring a guitar with a third neck leaving the body. Daniel was talking to me and the fire alarm was going off. I could not hear it though and after I reached the dark hall, I explained this to the other admirals who had been chosen to lead the revolution. One of them was an elderly man and he stared at me with judgement. He did not blink once. 

There was a history lecture taking place in the room next door and I could see faint projections in a dark room of a sepia-toned film. I just had to reach the gate. The alarm apparently stopped and Daniel asked me to find Tom Sawyer. I asked if he was in today and he remarked, ‘How am I supposed to know?’ 

I got back to restocking the shelves and told Sam that he should talk to Tom because he knew him better. She/he/they agreed without saying a word. They simply stared at me with folded arms. Sam did blink but did not move. 

Then I was at the gate. I needed to find her. My best friend who I had never met. She had been there since the beginning – I didn’t even know her name. I needed to hug her to say goodbye. The sound of the river trickled through my brain and the fog engulfed me. A tear leaked from my eye, as I embraced my dearest friend. She was special to me and I couldn’t fathom the idea of her no longer being in my life. Who was she? Water. Swoosh.

Darkness.